I like to read. You will often find that I have 2-4 books going at any one time. Recently I have been on a kick reading about being a Proverbs 31 woman. I have been soaking up the inspiration and the advise on becoming more like this famed woman in Proverbs. The Proverbs 31 woman is called blessed by her husband and family. She is also a blessing to her family. I know this is something that I seek after and want to encourage other women to seek after.
It occurred to me while I was doing the dishes, though while I seek to become more like the Proverbs 31 woman, I am doing it all wrong. I am looking to these authors to give me the answers. I am putting this woman at a higher place in my life than Jesus. Lastly I am not asking my husband’s input.
So I am here to offer you three ways you can become more like the Proverbs 31 woman.
1. Authors do not have all the answers.
We who write might do lots of research, or have lots of experience writing about our topics. That still does not mean we have all the answers. There are many wonderful books and blogs out there. These books and blogs can encourage you to seek to make your husband and your family a priority but they do not have all the answers. Pinterest can provide you with many links to inspirational: cleaning schedules, menu plans, work from home deals, ways to teach your kids, ways to get in shape, and more. No one item on there is going to be “it.”
So just remember to see these things for what they are: inspiration, a source of encouragement, or just the kick in the butt you needed to get moving in the right direction. If you want some blogs that provide excellent encouragement in this area I recommend Club 31 Women, Women Living Well, and Time Warp Wife. For the military wives out there I recommend my friend Reta over at Steps of Faith. If there are others that you know of or that you love please feel free to share.
2. “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5)
If we are placing all our effort on becoming more like the Proverbs 31 woman, we are placing our effort on the wrong thing. Yes this is a wonderful example that the Lord has called us as women to be more like, but we are still not to place this calling first in our lives. By placing her first, we are making an idol (or god) out of her. (See Exodus 20: 23 to see what God has to say about idol worship.)
Gods can be made of anyone or anything we place more value on than the Lord and our time with the Lord. All too often I see God-loving women get side tracked on their walk with God, by shifting focus from God to the Proverbs 31 woman. When such a shift occurs, what we are failing to remember is how she was praised because she was a woman who feared the Lord (Proverbs 31:30.)
3. If you want your husband to rise and call you blessed, ask him what he values in his home.
Maybe a clean home is of high importance to your husband but you are not skilled in that area. See about hiring help. The Proverbs 31 woman didn’t go it alone, Proverbs 31:15 even mentions she had servants. So see, it is alright to ask for help. Maybe you can’t afford a housekeeper, but perhaps you have a friend who is gifted in organization. Maybe she would be willing to help you set up a system that would work for you and your family.
Ultimately this is probably the biggest suggestion I can give you. Find inspiration from your spouse and then from others on what will work for your family. If you are putting your effort into areas that your spouse doesn’t value and you are completely missing what he does value then you are setting yourself up for burnout and contention.
I am not saying that if he doesn’t see the value in cleaning then it shouldn’t be done, what I am saying is perhaps then it doesn’t have to be perfect. I am also want to remind you that you don’t have to do everything alone. Ask for help. Last and certainly not least, don’t forget who you are working for in your day. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)