My Husband, My Love

I want to take a few moments and write about something that is near and dear to my heart, my husband. This man is my longest held close friendship, he has been my best friend since we were 15 years old. Rusty is the smartest man I know. His IQ is higher than anyone else’s that I know of, and he thinks of things in ways I never would have imagined. He can make me laugh, and help me to feel secure when it feels like the world is falling in around me. Also, as far as I am concerned, he is the most handsome man I know.

My Husband, My Love

Showing off the shirt he received for Father’s Day.

As wonderful as each of those things are, they are not the reason he is on my mind and my heart so much today. Instead it is because everywhere I went people reminded how it is not the norm to be without your spouse for days, weeks, or months at a time. Everything from a simple introduction and someone wondering if I was married, to someone commenting on how they could never be away from their spouse for extended periods of weeks and longer.

Facing extended absences like this from my best friend has never been easy, even when I have had a support network in place who gets it. I have had girlfriends who I could call the last minute to help with the kids, when I needed a break. Or girlfriends I could call when I wake up at 2 a.m. in a cold sweat from a nightmare and just need to talk it out. As wonderful and understanding as they are, none of them can replace Daddy in my girls’ eyes, or stop me from wanting to wake Rusty, so he can hold me, even though he is not there.

I may not be the woman who gets weepy the day he leaves, but my heart still sinks as I see him walk out that door, whether it be for a day or two, or months. So remember when you comment on how strong I am, that it is just an illusion. I am fragile. I am separated for a time from half of my heart. I continue on with the strength that my Lord grants me. It is in my weakness that I find my strength. (2 Corinthians 12:10)

When someone comments to me that they could never do what I do, most often I just smile and nod these days. Every now and then I want to tell them:

Loving this man is the easiest thing I have ever done. It is my trust and faith in the Lord that gives me the strength to carry on when my husband is absent. Saying good-bye is never easy, though. It is never something I look forward too. I miss him everyday he is gone. I do what I do though because I love him and he is worth every lonely day and long night apart.

So when I say the biggest perk of his new job is we will get to spend everyday together, it is not a novel idea. It is not something cheesy and oh so cute. It is the biggest desire of my heart. It is a dream come true for me, and no,` I am not over stating it.

***Can you relate to long separations or have you been blessed with a marriage where you get to be together each day? Is this a transition you have made in your marriage? If so, do you have any thoughts or advice for those of us who are new to this aspect of marriage?***

 

 

9 thoughts on “My Husband, My Love

  1. Palmer Fancy-Freelance

    I have an appreciation for how you feel though I do not have it as tough as you do. My husbands works nights and most people think so you have him during the day…well that is not true because of his shifts he sleeps during the day. I in some cases have become a single parent because he is only home and awake around the kids a handful of days in a week. Because of this schedule I am the one that disciplines, and takes care of the day to day running of our house. The blessing in disguise I received last year (loosing my job) has made it so he can actually have a day and unwind he is no longer the ball of stress he was when I was working. I just like you I feel incomplete when he is not home and it is lonely at night when I sleep alone. Of course I get the comments like you do…”you must love it when he is not home” or “it keeps the romance in the marriage” and like you I nod and smile but I do not understand why people say those things. There is nothing more in the world than having your husband home every night to spend time with. When he is on vacation I feel spoiled because we have more time together and then when it is time for him to go back to work I miss him terribly. I guess a lot of people out there do not understand what is like to have the blessing of being married to the other half of your heart and soul. So when you feel like you do know there are others out there that feel the same, you are not alone. Also remember that yes you are fragile but that love you have that completing love is what makes you strong! Sorry I rambled a lot.

    Reply
    1. Sara R. Post author

      My husband worked nights for a short period while he was in the Navy and in some ways I felt like that was harder on us than the periods where he was deployed, so my hats off to you, lady. Also I want to note that I wouldn’t attribute my strength to the love of my relationship with my husband. Rather I find my strength comes from the love in my relationship with the Lord. That is not to say there isn’t much comfort and reassurance is my relationship with my husband, there is.

      Reply
  2. Krysty Brown

    All I can say is. I get it. I understand. And unless you have been in our shoes it seems so easy to say “I could never do it”. But when it’s your husband, your best friend, daddy to your kids etc. it’s not about strength, it’s about just having no other option. I spent the past year and a half with mine home EVERY NIGHT. And my goodness it has been a whole new amazing dynamic. I get the desire. Hang in there!!!

    Reply
    1. Sara R. Post author

      Thank you. I am glad that your family has been blessed to have your husband home so much in the last year and a half. I would also completely agree it has nothing to do with strength. It is simply about doing what you need to do to make your family grow and thrive, whether your husband is home or away.

      Reply
  3. Kate Cummins

    Well, for two years my wonderful husband worked 60+ hours a week while going to college. We never saw him. He was a ghost in the house, coming home long after I went to bed, and gone before I woke up. Of course we do what we have to do, but I never handled it well. I broke down in tears all the time, tired of being a single parent while still married. I had to take care of everything. And then when he was home, from a rare day off or a vacation, everything felt out of place. Like he didn’t belong there anymore. After he graduated college, he still worked many hours at his job and even though we saw him more, I think the harder struggle was getting back together and learning about each other again. I feel very blessed that he got a shift change last fall and was home everyday by 2:00pm. And we have been lucky for him to have all of August off this year. It has been wonderful. I dream for you to have your hearts desire as soon as possible, living with only half of your heart must feel terrible. But i hope it will make having him home everyday that much sweeter in the end.

    Reply
    1. Sara R. Post author

      Thank you, Kate. I really do hope things will be as sweet as I imagine. Don’t get me wrong though, I fully anticipate there will be a period of adjustment.

      Reply
  4. adelientandian

    Well, I sometimes could not appreciate a lot or forget how wonderful my husband is when we are close enough and miss him a lot when we are far away. Your post is really approaching for me. Thanks Sara…

    Reply

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