“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24
“… and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5: 33b
There it is two of the hottest and scariest topics to ever bring up in conversation in this culture, especially if you adhere to those ideas. A couple of weeks ago a friend and I were talking and I said, “Yes I am all for submission in marriage.” That is a far as I could get and her eyes got wide, and her jaw dropped, just a little. I could read her face that she had whole host of things to say in response, but before she could get there I stopped a moment and asked her to hear me out follow me with this a moment and that is what I am asking you to do. Follow me with this a moment and if you disagree or have questions when I am done I am here to listen.
You are also probably wondering how these topics relate to love and ultimately fruit of the spirit. It is my sincere and heart-felt belief that it is through submission and respect toward our husbands that we demonstrate the kind of love that God is calling us toward in our marriages. I understand in this modern age we want to be independent woman. We want to be strong. We want to have it all, and we want to prove we are equal to men. These verses apply to even the most independent and modern of women today. God is not calling us to a position of weakness, but rather love and honor.
I heard someone talk about submission once in the context of the military chain of command. Imagine for the moment that God has made your husband the captain, or the CO, of your household, and you, the wife, second in command or the XO. Does your husband’s position negate the authority of yours? No, you are still a strong capable woman who has years of experience that you bring to this position. You are the one he can trust to take care of things in his stead. You are the one he can turn to, to help him sort through difficult decisions. Your husband may even defer to your expertise in many areas of decision-making. But the Lord has said that as the husband he is still the head of the household.
What does that mean then? It means as the CO he is responsible for the decisions of the household, even if he deferred to your best judgement. He will be the one held accountable for the decisions of the household, even if you make them together. So when I say I submit to your husbands this is what I am saying, “Let him lead. Provide wise counsel, but let him lead.” You married this man. Trust him. Trust his judgement. Believe in him.
Now I am not saying to let him lead you down the path of sin. You know what sin is, and you know how God feels about sin. God is an even higher authority than anyone here on earth. So as long as your husband’s leading lines up with scripture: Follow. So you if you two are disagreeing over say paint colors and not with issues of sin follow your husband’s lead.
As the XO of our household’s it is also our responsibility to be respectful toward our husband’s. Now some of you may be arguing right about now that my husband doesn’t deserve my respect. When he acts in a particular way then I will so him respect. If we refer back to Ephesians 5:33 we will see that we are not told to respect our husbands some of the time, when we feel like it, or even when he earns our respect. The wife is told to respect her husband, no conditions or pre-requisites, just unconditional respect.
What does that look like? It looks like no longer airing his ‘offenses’ to any and every listening ear. It means standing up for him when someone asks well how do you possibly deal with that sort of behavior. (He is a grown man, capable of making his own decisions, and he just likes to have fun.) It means extending him trust. Respect is bragging about his accomplishments and working together behind the scenes to fix the rough patches. It means stop nagging, and start asking. It means all that and so much more.
Ladies what can you do today that would be a little more respectful than you did yesterday? In what ways could you let your husband lead the household a bit more?
*** If you have missed any of the prior discussions in this series you can find them here: Introduction, Love Your God, and Love Your Wives . As always please feel free to share the posts, just remember to link back to the original. You never know who will be blessed because you shared this.***